I was at a friend’s place on the weekend for a party.

We were too busy, and really with the amount of food to look forward to later in the day, we skimped on lunch. My friend’s husband brought out some crackers and Cheese Whiz to tide us over.

Now, I have this annoying little habit; annoying to other people that is, but a life saver for me. I’m highly allergic to nuts. Cashews, almonds, pistachios, walnuts, etc….but the biggest one is coconut. So I have to read the package of every food I eat to make sure it’s safe. I either have to ask people ahead of time to read me the ingredients of what they’re making before I get to their house; or go fish around in their recycling bins to read them myself. I cannot tell you how many birthday cakes I couldn’t share in; how scary it is to eat out; how tiring it is to always be on alert.

So on Saturday I picked up the cracker box, skipped right to the end and saw the disclaimer, “Made in a Nut/Peanut Free Facility.” Before I got too excited, I went back up to the top of the list of ingredients and scoured them individually. When I got to coconut oil, I dropped the box in disappointment back on the table.

To be fair, some people/companies are not sure what constitutes a nut. Most people think peanuts are nuts. Uh uh. They’re legumes.

Just for fun I googled tree nuts. Coconut does not fall under the general definition, although US law requires disclosure of the addition of coconut in food products as it is recognized as an allergen of some sort.

Made me think of the other areas in our lives in which being on constant alert is par for the course. In love for sure. In business, certainly and always.

We have to become experts at reading the ingredients of whatever we’re cooking up in our lives.

I remember when I was interviewed last summer on Liquid Lunch, a show produced by www.thatchannel.com

It was such an easy atmosphere, and such a wonderful platform for entrepreneurs to get “introduced” to Toronto and beyond, I started thinking afterwards that I could do this. Have my own show. Put my marketing dollars to use. And so after a talk with the founder/owner of the radio station, I created, produced and hosted my own weekly show which I called Dare to Dream. Man it was a hoot and surprisingly (to me), I was good at it. I got to invite my friends, up and coming solo-preneurs, to showcase their “stuff.” And when the studio manager took over procuring my guests, I was privileged to meet some great and inspiring folks. 

But even when we switched from radio mode to TV, and I got my hopes up that the exposure would drive traffic my way, I began to realize that the show was doing more for my guests than it was for me. Instead of being Toronto’s most daring, innovative and highly exposed Life Coach, I was relegated to being simply the chick in the interviewer’s seat. Granted I did get a call from Canada’s premier TV station CBC on New Year’s Eve to be interviewed for their piece on resolutions from a Life Coach’s point of view; but that kind of recognition was rare. Not to mention the hundreds of dollars I was spending per month to the station for my show.

At the end of April I informed the owners of the station I would be taking a month long hiatus to try and secure sponsors. Since this was still the height of recession fever I had no luck in finding folks willing to take a risk of that magnitude. So with some regret I informed the owners of the station I would not be able to continue my show.

Unlike a box of crackers, the ingredients that constitute our attempts to create juicy, flavourful, rewarding ventures are not that easy to read. Even with the disclaimer “There is No Guarantee This is Going to Work”, we still plow hopefully forward, confidant of our abilities to ride the twists and turns and bumps in the road. As humans we’re just that way. It’s that tenacity that got us fire. And the wheel, and the lightbulb…..

But there’s one ingredient that most people fail to take into account; and that’s other people. In one blog, “Wait Not, Want Not” on lindakaban.com  I explained that your destiny and your expectations most often rely on the cooperation of other people. The trouble with that is, their agenda or vision may not coincide with the needs of your time line. 

Just make sure when you’re writing out your list of ingredients, you leave room for the unexpected “allergen”. Double or even triple space your list. I do not believe it is self-defeating  or even a negative to take into account all the ways you could take a wrong path, along with all of the ways you could succeed.  It will save you time and money and will help you learn to create value out of every experience and challenge you encounter.

I was in a cab a while ago laden with goodies from a trip to my parents’. The driver was a nice looking middle-aged man. Very polite. He took a call on his cell  and after he hung up I asked what language he was speaking as it had been musical and not one I recognized. He told me it was Farsi….the official language of Iran. And after spending 17 years studying and working in Italy, he was fluent in Italian as well. I discovered that I was in the cab with a highly trained architect.

I asked what on earth made him leave a good life and a career he loved to come to Canada. He explained he wanted to give his daughters a better chance at a better life. Their accomplishments since moving here, which he proudly cited, have made him very happy. But I heard a deep sadness in his voice as well; because how many opportunities are there for Iranian, Italian speaking, middle-aged architects in a new country?

As we approached my house my eyes were already welling up with tears. I paid him quickly, way over-tipped, wished him good luck, threw my bags out of the car and before I was ten steps away started sobbing. From there to the door I repeated the same litany over and over….broken dreams, broken dreams, broken dreams. Walking down the hall to my kitchen, it changed to “No more!!!”

I was crying for him. I was crying for myself. I was crying for everyone I know who has lost a dream to circumstance or tragedy.

When I’m asked why I want to take on the task of helping people strive for their heart’s desire, it’s because too many tears have been shed….too many hearts have been broken….too many spirits have wilted. Too many architects and artists and dancers and writers and healers and teachers have given up on their dreams. Your dreams don’t give up on you. SO WHY SHOULD YOU GIVE UP ON THEM? Why do working to survive and working towards a dream have to be mutually exclusive?

Next time you walk by a stranger or even someone you’ve known a lifetime, listen carefully. That music you hear is their song.

As I declared in the manifesto on my first website (see image below), I wanted to start a network of people helping people achieve their dreams. And that’s what Donna Marie Antoniadis is doing on shesconnected.com as well. And that’s what the sponsors of the Yoga Meltdown yesterday at Queen’s Quay were doing. I witnessed a community of people gather together to support and uplift each other in their dream to create a physically strong and mentally harmonious life.

Well you can help too. If you know someone who longs to sing their song and you know of ANYTHING that might help them take that first step, I urge you to make that effort.

(visit lindakaban.com)