I was drawn to a quote that said, “People who achieve their dreams have these qualities in common: They have confidence in themselves and a very strong sense of purpose. They never have excuses for not doing something and always try their hardest for perfection. They never consider the idea of failing and they work extremely hard towards their goals. They know who they are and they understand their weaknesses as well as their strong points. They can accept and benefit from criticism and they know when to defend what they are doing. They are creative people who are not afraid to be a little different.”

I agree. They DO have all those things in common. But guess what? So do those people who valiantly TRY armed with all those strengths and fail.

Don’t be shocked that I’m using the word fail. The only time the word fail has monumental overtones is when you’re trying to get the warp core back online before the Klingons attack. If you fail, you’re cosmic dust. I’m using a silly example to introduce the notion that failure is not the END. Not the end of a dream. Failure is just another word for opportunity.

That was the theme of one of my shows on www.thatchannel.com. I called the show Dare to Dream. I could just have easily called it Dare to Dream and When Things Don’t Work Out Despite Your Best Efforts Then Fail Spectacularly, Pick Yourself Up and Try Again.

Instead of using arbitrary examples I listed MY failures to make a dream a reality, despite my best efforts. I felt a little nervous exposing my life. When you’re courting a coach you want to know that the person in whom you’ve placed your trust is a winner. You want to believe that they wear the mantle of success you’re trying so desperately to achieve yourself. You want them to be infallible and all-knowing. Wise and compassionate. You want to cry in their arms and have them tell you everything will be ok. You want a Buddha, a Christ, a Mother Teresa.

Respectfully I’m going to suggest that you don’t.

You want someone who has been in the trenches. Someone who has taken a walk through the fire and has come out the other side intact, whole, still laughing, still fighting, still achieving and most importantly who still BELIEVES.

You want someone who believes in YOU. Someone who’ll have your back. Someone who can steer you away from unproductive exercises and shortcut you to the essence of what it is you want to achieve. You want someone who is strong and not afraid to say no to you. You want someone who will never, never, never give up on you, on themselves or on dreams.

If you listen to the podcast of that show, listen with both ears. In one I’m telling you that I have failed many times. But hear what is being whispered in your other ear. I AM a Coach. I AM a Yoga Teacher. I AM a published writer. These were dearly beloved dreams I pursued relentlessly until I achieved them.

What I was suggesting is that along the way to achievement life is happening simultaneously. Challenges that you could never have prepared for are going to drop in front of you or sometimes on you like a ton of bricks. And if one of those bricks happens to fall on your head, it’s most likely that’s the moment that you’ll give in, give up and throw away the dream.

Or you can do what I do. Kick at those bricks for a while; swear a little. Rant at the unfairness. Then pick them up one by one and start making a path out of them, or a staircase or a new door you can walk through. Use these opportunities to see what you’re really made of. Let your strength of purpose and courage out for a little walk around the disaster site and watch them bare their teeth in a fierce grin. Eat those bricks for breakfast.

As I said in my show, for every one person who’s had a dozen or a hundred failures, there are millions of people who have never had the courage to even try. Don’t be ashamed of failing at something. Because what you’ll get out of it is a hundred times more valuable. The perks of success revolve around money. Let’s be honest. The perks of failure are infinitesimally more valuable than hordes of cash. Stock markets crash. Recessions happen. Divorce sucks your bank account dry. However, the value of failure can’t be stuffed in a wallet. You wear it like a shining armour. Guts, pride, patience, resolve, valour and self-esteem are all yours to keep if you take them as the gifts of failure that they are. No one can take them from you. They can never be devalued. They are priceless. They are the tools that will move a mountain of bricks.

Martin Luther King said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

So speak your dreams, honour your failures as teachers and carry on. The world needs you.

(for more info visit lindakaban.com)

I was in a Sales class once when the teacher asked us to whip out a “mission statement”, just off the cuff.

With little time to think I wrote,

“To compassionately and patiently listen with an open heart and assist with my strength people who are in need of direction, who want to learn how to focus their energies and who are committed to realizing their dreams.”

I heard a collective “ahhhh” in the class after I volunteered to read it. Not the kind of ah that comes out when you see a baby playing with a kitten, but a sigh of wonder.

So it got me thinking again about what I want to stand for.

Just before class that morning I watched a student toss their cigarette on the ground. A common sight unfortunately, but what made it worse was the fact there was an ashtray right beside her. I looked down and saw dozens of butts littering the ground. More than dozens. I was rife with disgust. Not because of the smoking. Because of the total lack of respect. For our earth, for the well kept grounds on which the building stands, and for the wizened old man whose job it is to keep those grounds clean.

I was only a visitor for the 8 week project I attended, but I made a point of walking up to him a few days later and telling him that I always use the ashtray. His smile of gratitude could have lit up the sky. I felt deeply for this fellow who could barely speak English, who’s as small as a twelve year old and whose lot in life is to clean up after the thoughtless disregard of a bunch of smarmy, overfed Gen-Y’ers flaunting their undeserved, unearned sense of entitlement.

What are they going to stand for?

I was told by one of my classmates, “Linda you can’t save everyone.”

See, they got it wrong. It’s not that I want to save people as much as I want to beat some sense into them. Less Mother Teresa; more avenging archangel with flaming sword.

I WANT to stand for something.

I WANT to stand for hope and trust. Faith is their mother and I want to teach people not to be afraid to BELIEVE.

I WANT to stand for excellence. Who wants to get home after a long day and sigh with satisfaction, “Yep. I was mediocre again today. Well done.” I want to challenge people to see their own light.

I WANT to stand for and beside the people who own my heart. Nobody messes with me or mine and gets to call me friend if they do. Unacceptable.

What’s your mission statement? I’ll give you ten minutes to come up with something that defines your existence. If you include any of the following words, then you’re already on the road to standing for a life that will resonate long after it’s over:

Love. Hope. Faith. Trust. Compassion. Kindness. Forbearance. Brave. Patience. Laughter. Solution. Challenge. Believe. Soul. Husband. Wife. Lover. Mother. Father. Son. Daughter. Friend. Joy. Happiness. Good. Humour. Brilliant. Well Being. Balance. Achievement. Dream. Care. Passion. Abundance. Gift. Bliss. Direction. Aspirations. Courage. Strength. Ambition. Inspiration. Success. Idea. Wonder. Awe. Privilege. Charity. Noble. Spirit. Comfort. Vision. Focus. Power. Excitement. Adventure. Gratitude. Virtue. Enlightenment. Possibility. Commitment. Honour. Loyalty. Miracle. Cherish.

Peace,

Linda